


Phobia

by ShadowSnowdapple



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Oscar got that long brain, Oscar has hazy memories of dying in past lives, Panic Attacks, RWBYJNRQ has adopted one (1) child, fears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:20:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23206117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowSnowdapple/pseuds/ShadowSnowdapple
Summary: Oscar's fears flare up out of nowhere... or well... they had to come from somewhere, or someone.
Relationships: Oscar Pine & Everyone
Comments: 44
Kudos: 229





	1. I. Pyrophobia

**Author's Note:**

> The Discord Who's Name Does not Fit it (The Oscar Pine Protection Squad) has done it again. After saying "hey wouldn't it be sad if Oscar was scared of fire?" I said, "Hey, wouldn't it be sad if Oscar could vaguely recall things that surrounded previous incarnation's deaths?" And then I made this.
> 
> Chapters are PLANNED, school is ONLINE, and I wanted to write HURT/COMFORT.
> 
> TWs for this chapter:  
> -Panic Attacks  
> -Mentions/Memories of Death

_ Pyrophobia _ _ \- /pɑiɹoʊˈfoʊbiə/ noun  _

_ The irrational fear of fire. _

Oscar flinched away from the stovetop. The flames licked the metal above it and bent when it touched the small kettle Oscar had put down. Oscar stared at the hot pale flames, catching his breath.

It was strange. He had done this every morning for  _ years  _ now. It was part of the schedule: Wake up at dawn, morning chores, go inside, start the kettle for coffee for when Auntie Em returned from her own duties so they could have breakfast.

Why was it  _ today _ that the warmth that radiated from the flames that made Oscar shy away?

He shook his head as the kettle whistled. Oscar stole himself, already having set out the coffee press. He inched forward, quickly turning the burner off. For one startling moment, the flames continued to burn and a growing knot twisted in Oscar's stomach.

_ Woosh _

The flames died like usual, leaving the kettle to it's quieting whistle.

Suddenly the worried knot was gone. Just with the disappearance of the flames. Suddenly the fear felt... dumb. Oscar had used this stove- and others- for many years now. The small welts of clumsy cooking burns were little to none in recent times and they had never bothered Oscar. So why had seeing the flames made Oscar feel....  _ scared? _

Oscar shook it off. It had been a rough night. Not that Oscar could remember them, but he was certain that he had horrible dreams last night. He woke up with his pajamas sticking to his skin and his heart pounding. He had attributed it to the horror of the night before- flickers of chaos in Vale before everything went dark. Auntie Em had held him close before sending him off to bed. For a moment, Oscar thought that maybe the terrible images had freaked him out- but there had been no  _ fire _ in the sparse broadcasts that got through. No, it had to be just the stress. Just the stress.

Oscar figured that keeping the burner on low from now on wouldn't slow down his morning too much.

* * *

  
  


Even when Ozpin appeared, Oscar didn't understand his new fear. Oscar didn't pry into the old wizard's head either. He refused to, in fact. The more Oscar recalled from him- the more real it all felt. Even when Oscar was laying in a bed in Mistral, on Haven's campus with RNJR and Qrow- Oscar didn't dare try to look.

Oscar avoided the kitchen, every time he caught Ren in there, casually cooking on high flames, Oscar felt a dose of panic. It didn't make any sense. As soon as the fire was once again out of view the fear was gone, and Oscar felt stupid. What was his  _ deal?  _ It wasn't the heat--Oscar knew that-- or cooking. He had gotten used to using the electric kettle in the house to make coffee in the morning, and it didn't bother him one bit. The other day, Nora and Ruby had suddenly decided that they were making cookies and Oscar hung around. Even then, the warm oven- even when Oscar took an experimental step close and felt the heat coming off of it- it didn't freak him out.

He didn't want to mention it to the others. It felt childish to be afraid of fire.

  
  


When Yang and Weiss appeared Oscar felt awkward around even more new people. Even then, the  _ number _ of people felt strange to Oscar. He had gotten so used to spending upwards of weeks seeing only his Aunt, their cow Marlene, the five chickens they kept, and the handful of barn cats that hung around.  _ Seven _ people felt like  _ quite _ a lot. In addition to that, Yang and Weiss joined RNJR in training. Oscar was a bit glad to have the time he had to personally interact with all those people cut in half by Ozpin. But of course, Oscar had to put in the work as well.

"All this basics pounding is  _ boring!" _ Yang wailed after a couple of hours, "We should do some  _ real  _ sparring."

Ruby beamed, "That sounds like fun!"

"I want in!" Nora exclaimed.

Oscar bit his lip but Jaune was already ahead of him, pulling Oscar back a good ten feet. "We might want to let them blow off some steam. I think they're going stir crazy."

"Not you?" Oscar asked quietly, a small hint of a coy smile.

Jaune rolled his eyes, "Uh no- I don't share their energy."

"I would rather keep it down," Ren agreed, leaning against the wall of the house, watching as Ruby tugged on Weiss's arm, insisting that she join them.

Weiss seemed to concede and raised her rapier, taking a fighting stance.

"Two on two!" Nora called out, "Short hair versus long hair!"

Ren scoffed, "Here we go."

"We need a solid ref!" Yang called out.

"I'm not getting in the middle of this," Jaune yelled.

"We just need someone to call a start!" Ruby shot back.

Ren sighed and stood up again, cupping his hands over his mouth.

"Ready?" He called out as the girls tightened their battle stances. "Go!"

They launched themselves into the brawl, Ruby rushing around Weiss and Yang, trying to throw them off balance as Nora ran in for the strikes, trying to knock Yang back. Yang didn't waste a moment, rolling out of the hits, throwing in shots when Nora pulled back her hammer to swing. Weiss was trying hard to keep Ruby off of both Yang and herself, trying to catch Ruby in once place as she dove around them. only reading as a blur of red and roses. The ice that Weiss was trying with kept being too slow, just barely missing Ruby when she would almost materialize for a second before speeding off again.

Oscar was entranced, watching as Nora managed to hook one of Yang's feet, but Yang moved with the roll, ducking into the movement, keeping control over her center of gravity and following through with the roll to land a clean punch on Nora who wasn't expecting the strike and stumbled over as Yang landed clean.

"Stand still!" Weiss growled as Ruby zipped away from another ice strike, pausing for a second to stick out her tongue before dashing again. Weiss let out a loud groan of exasperation, flicking her Rapier's guard and it spun. Before Weiss could realize it, Ruby took the chance to swoop in close. Weiss's eyes widened as she realized that Ruby was trying to get a hit in, she quickly swung.

A column of fire arced across the area, just cutting past where the boys were watching.

Ren, ever perceptive, grabbed Oscar's collar and Jaune's arm just a second before, yanking them back another couple of feet but Oscar's eyes were locked on the flames. The rush of heat, the crackle, the smell of  _ burning- _

His skin  _ tingled _ like the flames were licking it- the smell of burning weeds seemed to bend into something else- a sulfurous smell like burning  _ hair and he was burning and it hurt- everything was on fire _ -

Jaune was laughing nervously when Ren felt his grip on Oscar's collar grow taught. Ren glanced over to see the boy curling in on himself, one set of fingers digging into his arms while he other gripped his hair, tugging on the dark strands. The color had drained from the boy's face and his eyes were blown, his mouth parted in shaky gasps.

"Oscar?" Ren said quickly, letting go of Jaune and readjusting his hold on Oscar, quickly trying to get him to sit down, his legs shaking and likely not going to hold him up for much longer. The boy was clawing at his skin and hair now, breathing sounding frantic. "Jaune, get them to stop," Ren ordered. Juane nodded and stole himself, running forward and calling for the girls to break it up.

Even though Oscar had gloves on, Ren tried to stop the boy from clawing at his arms and face, carefully trying to stop Oscar from pulling on his own hair.

"Oscar, calm down, everything's okay," Ren kept saying. He could hear the girls settling down and Jaune talking to them quickly. "Oscar, you're okay."

The others approached carefully. Ren glanced up quickly, seeing Weiss looking a bit watery-eyed, Ruby holding her arm. Nora was clinging to Jaune, staring down at Oscar, looking like she was holding herself back from jumping to Oscar to try to help. Yang on the other hand... She looked  _ sad _ . She knelt down and carefully took one of Oscar's hands in two of her own, carefully pulling it away from grabbing his hair again.

"Hey Squirt," She said without any prompt, "it hurts  _ quite  _ a bit when you end up yanking some of that out, so I'm just going to take this for now." Yang glanced back at Ren with a flash of an encouraging smile before speaking up again, "Ruby said you guys made cookies the other day, I'm a bit mad to have missed that- not that Ruby makes good cookies or anything-"

"Hey!" Ruby protested

"-but I always love making them with her," Yang finished, not even paying her sister any mind.

Oscar's mouth twitched a small strangled noise escaping from his throat.

"What was that, squirt?" Yang prompted.

" _ It hurts," _ Oscar's voice sounded raw.

Ren frowned, quickly glancing down at Oscar's feet, suddenly worried if he had been pulled away a second too slow and burnt himself- but he was unmarked, his boots only a little dusty from being dragged across the dirt.

"Where?" Yang asked, giving Oscar's hand a squeeze of assurance.

" _ E-E-Everywhere. I-It's on fire-" _ Oscar whispered.

Yang shook her head, holding Oscar's hand firmly in her own, "Nothing's on fire now, no fire."

Oscar closed his eyes, taking a deep breath with a shudder. There was a moment of silence before Oscar's eyes opened again. His fingers in Yang's grip twitched.

"I..." Oscar muttered, taking another deep breath, "I... I don't know what came over me, I'm sorry."

Ren shook his head. "It's okay, we all have things that can really bother us."

Oscar bit his lip. "No, I... I really don't know... why."

The others exchanged glances.

"Sometimes bad things happen and-" Yang started with a gentle voice, holding Oscar's hand firmly.

Oscar quickly pulled his hand away, "No! No, I just... I just woke up one day and... I was scared of  _ fire _ . I don't understand! And just now I felt like  _ I  _ was on fire, but- but that's never happened and I don't understand-!"

Jaune knelt down and put a hand on Oscar's shoulder. A firm, steadying grip. Oscar noticed Ruby's eyes had gone wide, holding her mouth.

"Oscar, do you think we could talk to Professor Ozpin?" Jaune asked gently.

Oscar frowned, reaching out his mind to his cohabitant who, while projecting a feeling of comfort and safety through the entire meltdown- hadn't said a word. Oscar quietly reached out, feeling the now-familiar tug and let Ozpin take over. He looked up at the others with a sad expression.

"Hello... Students," He said in a formal, yet halting, voice.

"Professor," Jaune gripped his shoulder a little tighter, "You- You stayed down in that bunker with Cinder."

Ozpin's expression clouded, "Yes, indeed I did."

"And she  _ killed _ you," Ruby continued, "With...  _ fire." _

Ozpin bit his lip, his borrowed body tensing, "Indeed."

"Do you  _ think _ ," Jaune said in a tight tone, "That  _ maybe _ that's what caused Oscar to be afraid of fire?"

"Yes," Ozpin's tone was now dull, everyone stared down at him with varying degrees of sourness, Yang's expression especially.

"Why didn't you  _ tell  _ him?" Nora asked, "It sounds like he's been so confused and worried-"

"I did not want to make him remember  _ that _ ," Ozpin cut her off, curling his hands into tight fists. "The previous incarnation's death is always the hardest to deal with. It is too fresh. I did not want to make him have to remember....  _ dying. _ "

"But he  _ does." _ Yang pointed out, "You freaked him out and made him think he's going crazy."

Ozpin sighed, "To be fair, we had already been through that phase."

"You don't need to make him feel  _ crazier _ ," Nora scoffed.

"That clears things up though," Ren tried to soothe, "We can take care of things from here, Professor."

Ozpin frowned a little but nodded, closing his eyes and when his eyes slowly opened again, everyone could tell Oscar was back. He held his arms and looked to be trying to be as small as possible.

"Sorry," He muttered quietly.

Ruby shook her head, "No don't worry about it!"

Ren shifted his position before gathering up Oscar and picking him up, "Let’s go inside for some tea."

Oscar's face flushed, "I can walk!"

"Nope," Yang said, poking his nose, "We get to coddle you for a while."

"Them's the rules!" Nora exclaimed as they started to the door, Weiss rushing ahead promising to put on the kettle.

Maybe Oscar could let it go for a while.


	2. II. Hemophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oscar realizes that blood is starting to freak him out.
> 
> CHAPTER TW:  
> Panic attacks  
> Injury Discussion  
> Injury  
> Blood  
> Accidental Self-Injury  
> Qrow drinking (it's V5)

_ Hemophobia _ _ \- /himoʊ _ _ ˈ _ _ foʊbiə/ noun _

_ The irrational fear of blood _

Oscar's never been a stranger to blood. Injuries are common in physical labor. Sure- getting hurt was never fun- but Oscar remembered the one time he slipped up with a hoe and stuck his leg. He managed not to freak out and even though the story is embarrassing and it hurt like hell- Oscar didn't dwell too much on it. A week off from work and a thin white scar on his shin was all that came from it. Also, he was much more careful. Honestly, Oscar teased his aunt that  _ she _ was more freaked out about the incident than he was.

"It's the only battle scar  _ you're  _ going to get, young man," she had said when it was finally healed.

So Oscar didn't understand. He stood frozen, the kitchen knife in his hand as he stared at the small slit in his finger, a slow stream of blood slowly dripped from it. It was no big deal- barely deeper than a paper cut- so  _ why _ \-  __ why did his stomach flip and his ears ring? He felt cold as he stared at the blood that dripped down to his palm- scattering on the rough skin from years of work.

"Oh no," Ren said, seeing Oscar. Oscar had offered to help Ren cook- granted, from the counter  _ several _ feet away from the stove- and was just cutting mushrooms.

Ren walked over briskly, grabbing a tissue and pressing it to Oscar's finger before walking out of the kitchen and quickly returning with a bandaid.

"You're still pretty new to Aura, so it might not heal all the way so quick," Ren said, cleaning up the blood and wrapping the bandage strip around Oscar's finger in no time flat, "wouldn't want it reopening and getting blood on the mushrooms."

Oscar blinked a couple of times. The blood was gone. The bandage wasn't even tinted red. The dizzy, nauseous, numb feeling was just... gone.

"Oh yeah," Oscar found himself saying, "sorry, should have said something."

Ren chuckled a bit, "We can't all be Jaune, I swear, his little scrapes and cuts disappear before any of us notice. Are you going to be alright?"

Oscar nodded quickly, "Yeah, just a little nick, happens all the time."

Ren smiled, continuing his previous state, a quiet comfortable presence.

Oscar frowned at the bandage as soon as Ren's back was turned. He's scared of  _ blood _ now?

_ I could not give you an exact reason,  _ Ozpin's voice spoke up,  _ I have had a couple of incarnations in the past react to previous one's triggers. In the past, they were off and on, not permanent. _

Oscar rolled his eyes and kept his voice down as he spoke, "Then why am I still scared of fire?"

_ That is a much more... fresh memory _ , Ozpin admitted sheepishly. _ It should reduce with time and exposure like any normal anxiety trigger- _

"Great," Oscar grumbled.

  
  


Oscar dreaded the training session the following day. The cut on his finger had disappeared by the time Oscar had gone to sleep but if there was going to be a time for trouble in his new fear-  _ (Fearing blood, that somehow seems more childish than being scared of fire)-  _ it was training.

Oscar was hyper-conscious of his Aura. Keeping it up. Keeping it steady. It was  _ exhausting _ .

"You're getting there, Oscar!" Jaune cheered as Oscar was able to deflect one of Yang's simple punches with his aura. The blonde had taken off her weapon and was mainly just blocking with her metal arm- it felt like a pretty big handicap and  _ not _ something worth Jaune being impressed at all, but Oscar took it.

Yang quickly caught one of Oscar's hooks and grinned.

"We'll make a brawler out of you yet, kid," she chuckled, letting go of his hand, "Go on, let's take ten."

Oscar sighed, letting his aura drop, the exhaustion running over him. "You're barely winded!" He complained.

Yang scoffed, "I'm also five years older than you and have _way_ _more_ training. You're getting there."

Oscar puffed his cheeks indignantly as Yang ruffled his hair and lead him a bit closer to the house where Jaune and Ren were also taking their break and handed them both water. They all glanced over to Nora, Weiss, and Ruby who had taken up a spot a stone's throw away. Nora had found weights somewhere in storage in the house and was teaching Weiss and Ruby how to do various weight exercises. Although, a couple of them, Oscar had a feeling and a nudge in his head that they weren't "official" workouts. Those ones, just Nora was doing- probably trying to be silly.

"Is that safe?" Oscar asked as Nora started trying to lift one weight with her foot.

"No"

"Absolutely not."

Jaune and Ren said at the same time, not phased at all.

"You think she's going to hurt herself?" Yang asked, watching Nora starting to try to throw the weight up in the air with her foot.

"Probably"

"It's a possibility."

They answered simultaneously again.

Nora tossed the dumbbell up with the flat of her foot and caught it with the point of her toe, balancing it there precariously. Ruby clapped and cheered. Weiss looked a bit nervous, looking ready to either snap at Nora to knock it off or hide her face.

Weiss moved like she was talking, maybe even pleading with Nora- looking increasingly worried as Nora kept the dumbbell balanced on her toe. Nora looked amused and smirked.

"Oh no," Ren sighed and Jaune rested his hand on his nose, shaking his head.

Nora bent her knee on the leg holding the dumbbell and flicked her foot, launching the weight into the air, glancing up with a wicked grin. Ruby started cackling loudly. Weiss ducked and covered her head.

"Nora!" Jaune yelled.

Nora paused and glanced over quickly, a laughing glimmer in her eyes. She opened her mouth to call out to him-

**_Thunk_ **

Nora must have misjudged where she threw it because it beamed her right in the face as it fell. Nora rolled with the hit and let herself be knocked to the ground.

Weiss screeched and Ruby gasped. Immediately, Ren, Jaune, and Yang ran forward. Oscar quickly followed on their heels, a knot of worry welling up in his throat.

Nora rolled to the side and popped back up, a grin blooming back on her face. The silly image was marred by a cut on her forehead and blood flowing freely from the cut and dripping from her nose.

"Whoops!" She chimed, red covering about half of her face.

Logically, Oscar knew that head wounds tended to bleed more than other places but the sight of blood  _ dripping  _ from her chin- even as Nora smiled and laughed Oscar felt a wave of dizziness wash over him, his heart pounded in his chest as his vision grew hazy. The small splatters of blood that were soaking into the dirt seemed to balloon into the  _ puddles _ and did Nora  _ look pale like all the blood had been drained from her body- her lips were blue and eyes dulling as the blood kept coming _ -

Oscar's knees buckled, his vision swimming in static, he felt like there was no air around him, he was gasping like a fish out of water. Oscar wondered if he heard someone say his name but all he could hear was the roaring in his ears. Then everything was 

black.

* * *

  
  


When Oscar woke up he was back inside on the couch. It was quiet, and the sun that filtered from the window was an orange-yellow of the setting sun. Yikes. He was out that long?

Oscar slowly got up, grimacing at the headache and the headrush that came with it. Oscar rubbed his face with a groan.

_ I apologize. _ Ozpin said quietly,  _ I had hoped... that you wouldn't have to see any of that. _

Oscar shook his head, taking a deep breath. "It was going to happen eventually, right?"

_ I did not want it to hurt you like this- at the very least... _

Oscar opened his mouth to reply when he was interrupted.

"You're up."

Oscar glanced over, spotting Qrow leaning against the wall, his flask in hand and looking a bit buzzed.

"Uh... yeah, I am," Oscar confirmed, "How long was I out?"

Qrow shrugged, "I dunno, an hour? Two?" He took a long swig from his flask. "The kids came in carrying you and Nora was covered in blood. Looked like a murder scene." He snorted, "Only to find out Nora was just screwing around and you passed out. You guys gotta be more careful. And I wasn't even around."

_ I quake to think what  _ else  _ could have gone wrong with Qrow observing _ Ozpin said with a dry bit of humor in his tone.

"...yeah," Oscar murmured to them both.

Qrow sauntered over, plopping himself down next to Oscar, "The old man's big brain been bugging you? I remember Ozpin had a few eccentricities about certain things that bugged him- they made much more sense with the information that they could have killed him in the past."

"Like what?" Oscar asked, with a frown.

Qrow smirked, "Well there was this one time that Yang and Ruby's dad, Tai Yang, thought it would be funny to push him into the fountain for his senior prank. Ol' Oz didn't lose his composure too much but it was the most freaked out I'd seen him up to that point. My sister, Raven, caught onto that and tried to chase him with a spray bottle the next week. Wasn't the same effect." Qrow snickered, "It  _ was _ funny seeing the exasperated look on his face when Raven shot him point-blank with it."

Oscar couldn't help but giggle at the thought.

Qrow ruffled Oscar's hair roughly before getting up, "the kids went to get takeout, they'll be back in a bit. Maybe go wash up."

"Okay," Oscar said, watching as Qrow stumbled out of the room before the man turned around once more.

"Don't think you're being silly or somethin' for freaking out. You've got too much going on in that tiny head of yours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're having fun, right?


	3. III. Hypochondria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone finds Oscar has some strange habits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
> Anxiety  
> Illness  
> Compulsive Behavior  
> Brief Descriptions of rot  
> Panic Attacks

_ Hypochondria _ _ \- /hɑɪpoʊˈkɑndɹiə/ noun _

_ The irrational fear of becoming/being sick _

Everyone noticed that Oscar was a… tidy person. He kept his things together in neat stacks or put away, always made his bed, and no one had seen him leave anything behind whenever he left a public room.

At first, it just seemed like something that Oscar had been raised on. Like how he was polite and didn’t often raise his voice. 

After a couple of days of living in the house in Mistral, Oscar regularly insisted on doing the dishes. Pretty much every night.

“You know,” Nora said as Oscar rolled up his sleeves the moment he got up from dinner, “Part of the deal when you help cook is that you don’t need to do dishes.”

Oscar blinked. He had helped Ren with cooking once again (No stovetop still and a more careful hand with the knife) that night. 

“But I like to help cook,” Oscar said, folding his sleeve up once more.

“Yeah, but that’s a lot of work,” Ruby pointed out, “Take a break! Let us pick up some of the chores.”

“Didn’t you clean the floors this morning too?” Weiss added.

Oscar shifted, “I like cleaning, just… I can do the dishes.” He quickly grabbed as many plates as he could and returned to the kitchen, the sound of the water running.

Nora poked her head in to see Oscar grabbing the dish gloves and the water steaming already.

“We… have a dishwasher,” Nora pointed out, “You can just rinse them.”

Oscar grabbed a sponge and poured some soap on it, “If I clean it and the dishwasher cleans it- it will be extra clean.”

Nora slowly inched back to the table.

“Let the kid have his thing,” Yang said, noting Nora’s worried expression, “he’s probably not used to not doing a billion chores.”

“He did work on a farm,” Ren agreed, “Besides, cleaning is relaxing.”

“I think I’ve seen him cleaning a lot,” Jaune muttered, shaking the ice in his water, “he’s a really early riser, right? Isn’t the house like- spotless when we wake up?”

“He’s keeping himself busy,” Yang said, “Everyone has their stress relief thing. Isn’t ‘clean home, clean mind’ a thing people say?”

Weiss tipped her head, “It  _ is _ disconcerting to totally change your schedule. If he’s so used to getting up at dawn and doing chores, I guess it would be less jarring to keep doing that?”

“He’s double washing the dishes,” Nora whispered, “who does that?”

“Plenty of people?” Ren answered.

Nora grumbled.

* * *

Jaune’s hypothesis about Oscar cleaning every morning was proven correct after the Haven fight. Oscar had been exhausted and was barely out of bed for a couple of days and Jaune was  _ very  _ aware that the Haven house was… well, not dirty, but no longer  _ immaculate  _ when he got up in the morning.

“Hey, does the house seem… dusty to you guys?” Jaune asked at lunch.

Blake, who had only been there for the last couple of days frowned. “It seems pretty clean to me. I’m impressed considering the fact that it was just Ren being the responsible adult for a while.”

“Hey!” Jaune and Ruby said loudly.

Yang glanced around, “I get what you’re saying Jaune.” She nibbled on some chips, “it’s… different.”

“What- so, Oscar has really been getting up in the morning and cleaning everything before we wake up?” Weiss asked.

One of Blake’s ears twitched, “he’s been what?”

“We think Oscar’s a clean freak,” Nora explained, “he insists on doing dishes every night and double washes them, if we’re not training chances are he’s either reading or cleaning something, and Yang thinks it’s because he’s a farm boy and misses all his chores.”

Yang rolled her eyes, “that’s not what I said but I guess it’s close enough.”

“He sounds like a good kid,” Blake responded, “What, are you worried about the house getting dirty now that he’s stuck in bed?”

“No,” Jaune said quickly, “we just never caught him cleaning everything before we woke up, so it was a bit of a theory.”

Ren started picking up the dishes, "There's nothing wrong with it, I just hope he doesn't feel like he  _ has _ to do it and just does it because it's relaxing."

"But the thing is," Nora said, getting up and assisting Ren, " _ You _ like cleaning, but  _ you  _ don't get up before we all do and clean everything."

Ren tipped his head and then nodded, "Sure, but I also didn't have a morning schedule like him."

"I really think you guys are overreacting," Yang added, "Let the kid do what makes him comfortable. It's not hurting anything- if anything it's a very helpful hobby."

Jaune fiddled with his fork, "I guess."

* * *

  
  


Oscar had always been an orderly person. Chaos made him feel on edge. Nothing extreme, just a preference for order. He liked the feeling of  _ finishing _ cleaning, seeing things be back in order and clean. Recently, grime and sweat- which had not been a mystery to him- started to make his skin itch. If he wore his clothes two or more times before washing them- also something he had been guilty of a handful of times as a result of just being a forgetful teenager- it made his skin  _ crawl _ .

A couple of days into being in the Mistral house with RNJR and Qrow, Oscar was unloading the washing machine after waking up early (he still was on his old sleeping schedule) when he stared at one of the dishes in his hands. It still had  _ specks _ on it. Usually, Oscar would just wash the one suborn plate himself but he found his eyes drifting to the rest still sitting, waiting to be put away.

They weren't  _ clean _ . They were still  _ dirty. _ That... that wasn't safe. Maybe- maybe they weren't completely disinfected- that was dangerous. Anyone could get sick like that. Oscar couldn't help but think of the gritty grimy smell of old crops that had fallen out of boxes and rolled under tables, only to be found when they were growing sickly green mold and covered in flies, vermin, and gnats. It made Oscar feel nauseous. Carefully, he stacked all the dishes next to the sink and one by one, scrubbed them with hot water. After a minute he had to fish around for the rubber gloves under the sink because the water had begun to steam and burn his hands.

After that, it was the floor. Mold. Bacteria. Disease. Oscar shook his head- he was up early anyway.

By the end of the week, Oscar had a checklist in his head of all the things he should clean after getting up. Seeing everything clean, made the nausea go away. Made the knot in his stomach fade.

Being stuck in bed after the battle at Haven wasn't helpful. Oscar couldn't help but to think about how he hadn't taken a shower in over a day, how  _ dirty _ he must be- on top of that- the  _ sheets _ had they been changed before he had been put here? After the third day, Oscar tried to get up to change the sheets, they made his skin crawl just laying in them. He was out of breath as soon as he got half of the bottom cover off. Oscar sunk to the ground, trying to catch his breath, clutching the sheets that felt  _ dirty _ he was  _ dirty _ -

"Oscar?"

Oscar glanced up, seeing Blake in the doorway, holding a cup of tea and a plate with a salad on it.

"What are you doing out of bed?" She asked, setting the plate and cup down on the dresser, leaning down to check on him.

Oscar took a deep breath, feeling light-headed, "I felt... gross. I wanted to get clean sheets. Maybe a shower."

"You could have asked," Blake said gently, hooking an arm under Oscar's shoulder, carefully helping him up and into a chair before she walked over and started pulling the sheets off of the bed, "I understand if you're starting to get stir crazy being stuck in bed, but all you have to do is ask."

Oscar ducked his head a bit and nodded as Blake stuffed the sheets under her arm.

"I'll go put these in the wash and get some new ones, I'll ask Jaune or Ren if they can help you with getting a shower, I don't think any of us would want you passing out alone," Blake said, ducking out of the room.

Oscar flushed. Was he really that  _ weak? _

_ You had to sit down because you were taking sheets off of the bed, _ Ozpin pointed out.  _ Hot water tends to make people even more light-headed, I don't think Miss Belladonna is wrong to ask for help. _

Oscar scrubbed his tan skin until it looked tinted pink. Ren was happy to make sure Oscar had clean pajamas and plenty of blankets.

Oscar sat on the closed toilet as Ren put away the soap, trying to wring out his short hair which still felt soaked and cold on his neck. His aunt used to tell him not to go to bed with wet hair- she would say he would catch a cold- and the thought of that happening now made Oscar  _ feel  _ sick already. If he was already struggling to take care of himself after exerting himself in a fight, he didn't want to think of what would happen if he got sick on top of it. 

"Are you okay?" Ren asked as Oscar tugged at his hair, the water dripping out between his knuckles.

Oscar shook his head, "My hair's wet, I don't want to lay on it wet. It's going to make my sheets sour."

Ren chuckled, "That's fair." Ren took Oscar's towel back off the rack, "Here, you want help?"

Oscar nodded sheepishly before Ren shuffled over and started to help Oscar towel dry his hair.

"Nora insists on only doing this," Ren said, pulling the towel over Oscar's hair, "She says hair dryers make her hair frizzy. I think she just turns it on high and refuses to brush it while she does it."

Oscar chuckled lightly at the image of Nora with frizzy hair. "It sounds like her."

"Okay, now it's only a little damp, no need to worry about sour pillows," Ren announced, hanging the towel up again and helping Oscar to his feet. "Do you think you can make it back to your room?"

Oscar nodded. Ren still kept his hand on Oscar's shoulder as they walked back to Oscar's room.

The bed was made again, neat and tidy.

Oscar didn't feel itchy settling down into the bed, thankful that it was clean.

"Thanks," Oscar said sheepishly.

Ren smiled gently, "It's no problem, I hate being dirty too." He gently ruffled Oscar's hair, "Call us if you need anything."

* * *

  
  


Oscar woke up the next morning and breath rasped when he breathed. He coughed, trying to dislodge the feeling, but as soon as Oscar started to cough- it wouldn't stop. He felt like he was  _ choking _ . His head  _ ached,  _ his body felt heavy, and Oscar felt  _ nauseous _ -

After what seemed like an eternity but also a couple of seconds the door burst open. It was Ruby. She rushed inside and pulled Oscar upright, gently patting his back as Oscar tried to hack up a lung. Oscar felt light-headed, trying to get in a good breath- is  _ this how I'm going to die, drowning in my own body, fading away- _

Just then coughed again, dislodging the gunk from his throat. Oscar gasped for air as he felt Ruby patting his back, his vision a bit patchy and staticy.

"Ooh, rough," Ruby said softly, "Blake, can you go get a cup of tea?"

The others were here?

"Oh yeah, be right back!" Blake's voice sounded with the echo of someone scampering down the hall.

"I'll go see if I have any cold medicine," Ren's voice added, "If not, Nora and I will drop by town."

"Awesome, thanks!" Ruby chimed back.

Even though Oscar had gotten a hold of his breathing, Oscar felt like he was drowning. He could feel the air going into his lungs but nothing would make the static stop.

"Are you okay there, squirt?" Yang said. The other side of the bed shifted as Yang sat down.

Oscar shook his head quickly. He didn't even feel the calm, cooling presence of Ozpin. Was he  _ dying? _ What was going on? He was sick? But he had done everything right! He couldn't be sick!

"Just slow down," Yang said, wrapping an arm around him, "We got 'ya. It's just a cold."

Oscar shook his head again. No, no- he couldn't do this, the slow feeling of watching everything blur, your body and brain turning to mush, the feeling of your own  _ lungs drowning you as you lay there, unable to do anything as the world shuts down and fades- _

Oscar was gasping again but some part of him gripped himself. pushing him to face his own thoughts. That... that wasn't  _ him _ . No, Oscar had been sick before, but nothing like  _ that _ .

"Oscar, are you okay?" It was Jaune this time, holding his shoulders as Oscar tried to catch his breath again.

Oscar blinked wildly, staring at his hands, trying desperately trying to divide up the cacophony of memories, feelings, thoughts, and voices. It was all blurring again but Oscar gripped onto the one certainty he had found. No, this fear wasn't all  _ Oscar's. _

Oscar could hazily hear, feel, and see the others talking above him. Touching his cheek, his forehead and tapping him. Oscar didn't respond, trying to focus. If he could divide up the lines in his head, it would make sense. Maybe this panic would subside. This would all  _ make sense. _

No, this... this panic wasn't his. It was a cold. Further, excuse to stay in bed. Nothing more. Oscar tried to reach out to the knot of fear that stuck in his head. To try to untangle it.

Oscar blinked again, feeling the pins and needles in his arms fade. Jaune was leaning over him, other hands gripped him.

"Oh, hi," Oscar rasped, "I uh... I think... Ozpin doesn't like being sick?"

Janue took a long sigh of relief. "Oh thank goodness, you weren't answering."

"I'm... I'll be okay," Oscar said slowly, gripping his chest, feeling his heart pounding, "Although I uh- I think Ozpin thinks I'm... well...  _ we're _ dying."

Yang snorted, "He can't handle a little cold?"

"No, it's," Oscar bit his lip and furrowed his brow, "I just got this-  _ super vivid  _ memory of laying in bed and... slowly dying? It was like, drowning but  _ really slowly _ ."

"Yeesh," Ruby hissed, "Yeah, that would freak me out too."

"Hey Oscar," Jaune said cautiously, "Have you been- cleaning the whole house before we get up in the morning?"

Oscar paused but nodded. "I uh- it bothered me...  _ a lot. _ " Oscar coughed again, not as much now, but there was still a rasp in his chest and voice, but at least it wasn't choking him again. "Although, I'm starting to doubt how much of that worry was...  _ mine. _ "

"Is that why you were double washing dishes?" Nora said, jumping into the room, followed by Ren who had some cough syrup.

Oscar frowned, "I think? I woke up really early soon after I got here and started unloading the dishwasher because I felt a bit stir crazy not doing anything and... I don't know. I just kept thinking they were  _ dirty. _ I kept thinking about moldy food and gross things like that." Oscar shuttered at the thought.

"For the record, I was still technically right," Yang said in the short silence.

"What?"

"I said you were cleaning because you weren't used to not doing all the farm chores," Yang said, "I was at least partially right."

Oscar hummed and shrugged, "I guess so, but I think I was being a little... paranoid."

"I think everyone appreciated the clean house anyway," Ren said, pouring out a dose of medicine, "but you might want to try to... settle some of those compulsions."

Oscar laughed dryly, "It's hard to untangle all these... feelings in my head."

"I couldn't imagine that," Blake said, setting down a steaming cup of tea, Weiss following with the sugar cup and a bottle of honey.

Oscar took the cap of cough syrup from Ren before hesitating, looking at the cap and then at the bottle and then back at Ren.

"It's never been opened," Ren said, a knowing smile on his face, "All clean."

Oscar groaned, "I just did it again!"

"I think that's a totally reasonable thing to be wary of," Weiss said, "I wouldn't want my mouth all over where other sick people's mouths have been."

Oscar wrinkled his nose, "I think I'm doubly disgusted by that."


	4. IV. Claustrophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atlas takes its drills very seriously

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW's For this chapter:
> 
> Panic attacks  
> Mentions of being Captive
> 
> (Neon's excessive use of Emojis)

_Claustrophobia_ _\- /klastɹoʊ_ _ˈ_ _foʊbiə/ noun_

_The extreme or irrational fear of confined places._

Atlas was lonely. Everyone kept busy. Oscar would wake up at his usual early time to find Jaune, Nora, and Ren also waking up and getting ready to leave. They would disappear on missions and be gone until late. Sometimes they would stay the day and invite Oscar to train with them.

Every day was a spin of the wheel of what Oscar would be doing and who- if anyone- would be around. Somedays, everyone would train together. Others, Ironwood would invite him to talk or- more often- to train. Or Oscar would find himself alone.

Oscar did his best to keep himself busy. He couldn't leave Atlas Academy- as per General Ironwood's orders- and Oscar no longer had an entire house to stress clean to feel like he was being productive. He would check out books from the library, watch videos and play games on his scroll... it felt enclosing being stuck like this. The Academy was big but Oscar was wary of going far- not sure that he wanted to run into the students and have to deal with coming up with excuses for why he was here.

Sometimes Neon would text him- she thought Oscar was essentially in witness protection and was stuck in Atlas Academy until further notice. It wasn't too far from the truth and she didn't pry. Sometimes she would say that she was out and would pick something up for him. Which lead to Oscar starting to collect plants. Within a week, Oscar had two succulents and some Lucky Bamboo. While having some plants around made Oscar feel a little less disconnected from the earth (he was several hundred feet in the air on a floating city and told not to leave the building so- rather disconnected he was), it wasn't a cure-all. It was nice having some other people around who periodically dropped either a message or poked their heads by to ask if everything was okay.

Oscar's scroll buzzed.

  
  


**🌈 Neon 🌈**

fnki out 4 cookies- any orders?? 😽 🍪?

  
  


**Oscar**

Do they.... have..... gingersnaps????

**🌈 Neon 🌈**

bro..... r u.... an old man????? 🙀

**Oscar**

Is that a no??

**🌈 Neon 🌈**

they hav them. i will giv u ur old man cookies lol. stand by. 😽😽😽 💕

  
  


Oscar smiled a bit as he set his scroll back down on his bed. It was another one of those days. Everyone had run off on missions and Ironwood had told Oscar that he was busy again today. It looks like none of the members of team FNKI were going’s to stop by very soon. Oscar rolled in his spot in bed, curling around his scroll and the closed book he had borrowed from the library. Another day alone. Maybe FNKI would drop by with the cookies dinner than later if he was lucky.

Oscar swore he was starting to get cabin fever after just two weeks of this. He had gotten so used to everyone being around that the sudden withdrawal was... weird. Oscar thumbed the paged of the book, watching them fan out and settle back down. Maybe he could try to train by himself for a while? Oscar was getting frustrated about his semblance- the weeks were getting on and there was still no hide or hair of it.

_Maybe Oz took it with him_ , Oscar thought sourly.

Oscar missed the presence of the old soul, even though he didn't admit that to RWBY, JNR, or Qrow. He had said it to Ironwood, but if any of the others overheard them- they'd probably guess that was just for show. It was strange after the handful of months with him on the farm and then the weeks in Mistral. The only blessing of that was the _noticeable_ decrease in spikes of fear at random things. Besides the fire. Oscar _still_ didn't like fire. The memory of burning alive was _much_ too vivid to forget. He still found himself pausing at things, but nothing like before. Even so, Oscar would still have the strangest dreams that he could barely remember in the morning- it reminded Oscar of the about month gap in between the Fall of Beacon where Oscar just felt strange and had weird feelings before Oz dared to speak up.

Even so, Oscar didn't want to be held back by that. Even without Oz here- Oscar had the drive to continue onward and whether or not that feeling belonged to _Oscar_ didn't matter to him anymore. He _wanted_ to help. He _wanted_ to be stronger. He _wanted_ to stop Salem. Not for Oz, but for the beautiful things he treasured in the world. Oscar felt like he was _certain_ that feeling was his own.

Oscar finally got himself to roll out of bed, placing a proper bookmark in his book and neatly placing it on his bed. Glancing around once more, Oscar pocketed his scroll, put on his coat and sat down to put on his shoes when the lights suddenly dimmed and changed color, turning a deep blue and then flashed. Oscar flinched as a loud sound crashed near him and Oscar saw the window light disappear as a metal shell covered the window and the door out made a loud clicking noise. Confused and a little freaked out, Oscar tried to twist the knob- it didn't budge. Oscar tried to unlock it. No change.

**"Attention students and faculty: We are on Lockdown. This is just a drill. Please stand by and follow the protocol."**

A voice over the intercom sounded as the lights flickered. The message played again before the lights dimmed again- staying dull and blue and then there was silence.

Oscar chuckled dryly, "Guess I'm _not_ going to train then."

Oscar moved his plants from the windowsill and opened the window, leaning over, peering at the thick metal that covered it. Curious, he knocked on it. Very solid. Once again, Oscar turned around and tried the door. No dice. Oscar pulled his scroll out of his pocket, there was a big banner over the top of the screen, the same message as the intercom rolling over the top of the screen.

Oscar tapped his messages and texted Neon.

**Oscar**

Hey, did you know there was going to be a lockdown drill today???

**🌈 Neon 🌈**

i heard there might be lol, i hear that sometimes and sometimes theyre right and sometimes no. u stuck? 🙀

**Oscar**

Yes. I'm trapped in my room. It's too dim to even read in here :(

**🌈 Neon 🌈**

IKR?????? we got the hell out of dodge but i figured ud be told cuz ur kinda stuck anyway, rite? 😾😿

**Oscar**

No! No one tells me anything...

**🌈 Neon 🌈**

UNFAIR! well we will bring ur old man cookies as soon as were let back in. lockdown drills last wayyyyyyyyy 2 long if u ask me 😾

**Oscar**

They last long???

**🌈 Neon 🌈**

like an h o u r. i think iw's crazy, man lol. 😿

**Oscar**

Save me. Please.

**🌈 Neon 🌈**

cookies will b delivered a s a p. u want anything else??? 💕💕💕😽😽😽😽

**Oscar**

You think..... you can..... get me....... some snickerdoodles...... too?????

**🌈 Neon 🌈**

u got it chief 😸

  
  


Oscar groaned. A whole hour? Oscar tossed his coat across the room and kicked his boots and practically fell back into bed, glaring at the ceiling of the bunk. If he was going to be stuck, why couldn't it have been in the training room? or even the library? The room was dim and seemed much smaller now that the window was blocked and the idea of the door being locked made Oscar's heart pound. He couldn't get out. He was stuck. For a whole hour. Oscar let himself lay there and breathe for a good minute before standing up. He picked up his coat from off the ground and hung it back up, put his boots back in their place by the door. Oscar tried to busy himself. Wiping down the cleaned windowsill, sweeping the fallen soil into the trash with a rag. The knot stayed in place. Oscar's hands felt jittery and they shook. Oscar tried another deep breath. He moved to the small bathroom and took out the bottle of cleaning spray. Cleaning made him feel better. Just- pass the time by cleaning.

Unfortunately, it wasn't a whole house with tables, floors, and a kitchen to scrub down. It didn't eat up nearly enough time. Oscar rinsed his rag and wrung it out in the sink, his hands still trembling. No, it wasn't working. It wasn't working. Oscar slowly knelt down, putting his head between his legs. He felt dizzy and his hands wouldn't stop shaking. Oscar tried to breathe again, trying to keep steady. What was it? What was going on? Oscar glanced out the bathroom door, with the door open he could see the front door of the room. Still shut. Oscar folded the rag and hung it on the shower rung before carefully walked out to the room again, staring at the handle of the door. He tried again. It didn't budge.

Oscar slowly backed away, his knees were shaking now. It felt like the walls were getting close to him. There was nowhere to run. Oscar took another step back and his knees faltered. Oscar let himself fall to the ground, hugging his own arms.

Why? Why was this happening?

Oscar held himself tighter, trying to pull himself even closer- make himself even smaller. Everything was _too_ _close_ , it was like a cell with the pale cold light and the smell of metal. Oscar shivered. It even felt cold like a cell.

Oscar pulled his head down to his knees, folding himself ever smaller, trying to keep himself from breathing too fast, but his lungs kept spasming in gasps as the static returned- Oscar's head feeling like it was stuffed his cotton. Oscar blinked wildly, trying desperately to focus on the things in front of him. What was _real_ . Between the screams of panic in his head, Oscar _knew_ this pattern. If he just tried to stay here- here in Atlas. In this room, memories wouldn't drift up from the past.

Oscar shuddered, trying to gulp down larger breaths in hope that it would slow his pace to chase away the visions that Oscar knew were just behind the bend. He didn't want to see them. He _refused to_ see them.

Then, suddenly, Oscar couldn't move. Breathing hurt. Everything felt heavy, the walls looked like they would touch him if he so much as moved an inch. He was trapped and he couldn't move in _this cold cell_ \- no that's not what this is- _why was he here, what had he done everything was ruined and it was all his fault and now he was going to die here-_ no no, that's not what's happe- _his skin was cold and bruised and there was nothing he could do, there was no way out the doors were locked, the window was barred and he couldn't move any way he was_ **_trapped he was trapped trapped trapped_ **-

Oscar didn't notice when the lights came back on. He just stayed there, frozen, curled in so tight on himself that he couldn't see the change. Gasping and trying to pull himself out of the memory. Each time he tried to escape it, it latched onto him tighter, dragging him back into its depths where it was _cold and lonely and small-_

"Farmboy?"

Oscar flinched in his small ball. Trying to pull himself tighter, but he was as squished as he was going to get.

"Oh, crap, Flynt, open the window or something- uh uh uh oh my gosh I dunno how to deal with this- uh uh- Ivori, Kobalt, shoo!"

The continued voices made Oscar pause, the illusion slowly falling away as he hesitantly looked up. The lights were on. The door was... open.

Oscar found himself shaking again.

"Oh gosh- oh geez," Neon was pacing around the room, "oh my gosh Flynt, do you know what to do? I don't know what to do! Did we break him?"

Oscar shuddered, finding a knot in his throat again. He tried to swallow it but it was persistent. Oscar's eyes stung. He couldn't escape the feeling. It held him. Oscar gave in, his eyes burning as hot tears started brimming in his vision. Pouring over, turning into wet, shaky sobs.

"Neon," Flynt said quickly.

"Oh no!" Neon jumped forward reaching out her arms and then pulling them away. "Are you okay? Say you're okay! Was it the lockdown?"

Oscar shuddered a few more times, letting himself release some shakey sobs from his throat.

Neon grabbed Flynt, tugging him closer, "The General did this!"

Flynt frowned, "What?"

"The General didn't tell him!" Neon gestured wildly, "He made the farm boy cry! We need to do something!"

"Like what?" Flynt raised an eyebrow.

"I dunno!" Neon exclaimed, "You think he has that weird purple old man shampoo? We could change that out for purple dye shampoo!"

"Neon, you don't even know where he lives," Flynt replied flatly, "And he's not that gray."

Oscar let out a shaky laugh, tears still dripping from his chin, swallowing thickly, trying to quell the sobbing.

"He's _getting_ there!" Neon remarked.

Flynt rolled his eyes and knelt down, "Hey. Kid."

Oscar locked eyes with Flynt, sniffling.

"I have a pretty awesome Cappuccino machine. Or if you're like Neon and allergic to caffeine-"

"It makes me sleepy!" Neon clarified loudly.

"-I also make the best hot chocolate," Flynt finished saying gently, "If you want to. Or we can just hang out here until the rest of your team comes back?"

His... _team?_

Oscar nodded slowly, hiccuping.

Flynt held out a hand and helped Oscar to his feet. "Let's go then, Kid."

Oscar found himself sitting in FNKI's bunk- it was more like an apartment with a kitchen and a small living area. Neon gave Oscar a giant bright pink blanket that was made of fake pink fur and handed Oscar a cardboard box. Oscar opened it and found that half of it was filled with half-inch diameter sized gingersnaps and the other side had about half a dozen large snickerdoodles. Oscar took a handful of gingersnaps and a single big snickerdoodle and put the box on the table.

Oscar found himself being very quiet. Flynt brought him a mug of hot chocolate after almost fifteen minutes. It was thick and smelled a bit like cinnamon.

Neon talked their ears off, trying to keep the mood bright- telling silly stories about parties and classmates. Oscar found himself relaxing into the couch.

Eventually, Flynt turned on a movie saying it was "B Movie Night anyway." It was some really corny romantic comedy. What made it fun was Neon's loud insults at the main characters for being dense and no common sense or calling out things that didn't make sense.

"He can't move to Vacuo!" Neon yelled at the screen, "He's wimpy and spoiled! It's a bluff! Call him out on his bluff, Tangerine!"

"She won't," Ivori remarked, "She's fallen for every single other paper-thin lies."

"BREAK THE CYCLE!" Neon screamed, "BREAK IS FACE. NO DON'T KISS HIM! HE'S DUMB!"

There was a knock at the door. Flynt got up as Neon continued to hurl objections at the movie.

"I heard you have our farm boy?" Nora's voice sounded and Oscar turned his head. He was curled up on the couch, the gaudy pink blanket over his shoulders, holding his empty cup of hot chocolate.

Flynt chuckled, "Indeed we do. Oscar, your team is here to pick you up."

"He's a grown farm boy! We're not _babysitting_ him!" Neon called back.

"Okay. Oscar, your team is here to rescue you from our evil clutches," Flynt rephrased.

"What evil team gives a kid cookies and hot chocolate?!" Neon retorted.

"This one," Kobalt responded.

Oscar smiled, getting up and quickly folding the blanket and setting it down on the couch. Flynt came forward and took Oscar's mug. "Don't worry about this, I got it." Kobalt sat up from the floor and handed Oscar his box of cookies.

"Thank you, seriously," Oscar whispered.

Flynt smiled, "Of course, man. Go tell the General off though, or Neon's going to do something stupid."

"REVENGE WILL BE TAKEN!" Neon yelled.

Oscar chuckled and Flynt patted his shoulder. Oscar walked quickly over to the door where Nora, Ren, and Jaune were waiting. As soon as Oscar stepped out into the hall, he saw that team RWBY was waiting just outside as well.

"Oh, hi. Have a good day?" Oscar asked.

Nora frowned and Ren folded his arms.

"Yeah, but we were worried when Flynt texted us saying that team FNKI picked you up from your room because you were shaken up after there was a lockdown drill," Weiss responded hands on her hips.

Oscar flushed. "Oh, sorry."

"No!" Nora quickly wrapped her arms around Oscar, "don't feel bad!"

"What happened?" Jaune asked.

Oscar shrugged, "I thought I was done with the Oz fears but uh- it was a _pretty_ bad one."

"Yeesh," Yang said, "Even in exile, the old man still causes problems."

Oscar sighed, but nodded.

Ren patted Oscar's back, "We'll ask Ironwood tomorrow if he'll give us the schedule for those drills? So you don't get stuck in the room again?"

Oscar smiled a bit, "Yeah, sounds good."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun facts for this chapter- 
> 
> 1) I based Neon's texting style slightly off of my meme lord boyfriend's  
> 2) Gingersnaps are the COOKIES OF MY CHILDHOOD and Oscar seems like a cinnamon-lover  
> 3) Neon put her name into Oscar's phone, that's important information. She would have put more emojis in the name but Oscar refused
> 
> The last chapter is in the works now, I have been in the habit of finishing the chapter after before posting the new one, but I'm having a hard time with this one as it's a little more... Specific? I thought about changing the chapter premise because I was like "no that's too mean :(" but then I'm here anyway.


	5. V. Aphenphosmphobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nora notices Oscar is acting strange

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:
> 
> Panic attacks  
> Descriptions of Anxiety  
> Choking  
> Death Mention

_ Aphenphosmphobia _ _ \- /əfɛnfoʊsmˈfoʊbiə/ noun _

_ The irrational fear of touch and intimacy. _

It was only when it got bad did Nora notice that something had changed. She and all of her friends were physically affectionate people. They enjoyed patting each other on the shoulders, backs, and heads; They liked hugs and leaning on each other. It was Nora's impression that Oscar was the same. He had never shied away when Nora hugged him or Ren patted his shoulder. Nora was certain she had seen Yang leaning on him casually and Jaune ruffle his hair. Even so, when Oscar flinched violently when she wrapped her arms around him from behind after coming back from a mission and wrenching out of her hold as quickly as possible. He stood up and turned to her with a wild look in his eyes and Nora tried to think if anything had  _ changed _ .

Oscar flushed bright red. "Oh gosh, I'm sorry. I'm just- prickly today. Need my space," Oscar informed her quickly, clutching his arms and backing away slowly.

"Oh," Nora said in a tone that sounded more disappointed than she meant to let out.

Laying in bed that night, Nora tried to think back. Small scenes in the last week played back to her.

At the beginning of the week was the election. Time was passing slowly in the aftermath and everyone was busy trying to keep up with the influx of Grimm in Mantle. They hadn't had as much time with Oscar as they had wanted- Nora and the boys especially didn't like leaving him out too often- they figured he got lonely just dealing with Ironwood day in and day out. Ironwood had been taking Oscar for whatever training they did more often since the election.

"What have you been doing with General Ironwood?" Ren had asked a few days before.

Oscar absently brushed the scuff marks from his boots as he took them off, "He's been going even more gusto with trying to get Oz back- I think he's worried about all of this. I don't really blame him."

"He needs a second opinion he'll  _ actually  _ listen to, " Nora said sourly.

Oscar frowned, "I think he wants to listen to Oz."

"Do you think his opinion would be different?" Jaune asked, stacking his armor in its place.

Oscar shrugged, "I think so? It rubs me the wrong way and aren't we supposed to be similar?"

"But I like  _ you _ more," Nora pointed out leaning off her top bunk so she was hanging upside down, "But anything to get his head out of his ass."

"Nora," Ren scolded, sweeping his arms to coax her back up and not fall off.

Oscar chuckled a bit, "Thank you? I think?"

Nora ignored Ren's sweeping hands and stretched to reach Oscar, managing to tap his head before crunching back up. "Boop!" she chirped as she fumbled her way back up, Ren shaking his head.

Oscar froze for a second before another chuckle escaped his mouth. Only now did Nora think that the pause had been a little too long and the laugh a bit strained.

The day after that, JNR had stayed to train for the first half of the day. Nora had noticed that Oscar was keeping an uncharacteristic gap between himself and the others. She didn't look too much into it at the time. Thinking even closer to the present Nora could just see flashes of the past few days with Oscar. He was tending to stay away. Keeping out of arms reach.

Nora bit her lip, staring at the ceiling in the dark. Did she upset him? Was it bad mouthing Oz? Nora knew Oscar was the softest on the old soul. Or was it Ironwood? No, Oscar had consistently agreed with the others. Sure, Oscar insisted on giving him the benefit of the doubt, but Oscar  _ also _ kept an eye out for the General. At least, Nora had assumed. Oscar had nodded with agreement every time Nora got heated about Ironwood's treatment of Mantle- he had never  _ seemed _ to have a problem with her jabs at him. He understood that she was frustrated.

Nora turned in her bunk. Oscar  _ was _ pulling away from them. She could tell. But nothing that she thought of gave a reason  _ why. _

The next morning Nora set her plan into motion. Nora woke up much too early- probably because she was worried.

"Oscar!" she greeted brightly as she saw the boy start to roll out of bed.

He blinked blearily. "Oh, Nora, you're already awake?"

"Yeah," she quickly lowered her voice, seeing Ren groan and turn in his sleep, settling back in. "It's pretty early, you want to go get breakfast together? We haven't had any good ol' Nora-Oscar quality time lately, " She suggested brightly.

Oscar suddenly looked much more awake. He gave a ghost of a smile before clasping his hands together tightly.

"Uh, I appreciate it, but I uh," Oscar lowered his head, "I'm a bit... low on energy today. I think I need some space. Maybe another day." Oscar quickly got up and walked to the bathroom.

Nora heard the door shut like a stab in the chest.

* * *

Oscar knew what was going on.

He knew the moment that a kind pat on the back from Ruby as she passed made his skin crawl and made him want to crawl out of his skin. Oscar tried to refuse it. Maybe it was just him being tired after a long day of training with Ironwood. But then Nora's usual casual touching made his heart rate sputter in panic. Oscar tried his best to roll it off. Pretend it wasn't happening.

It didn't get any better as the week went on. Even proximity made his skin crawl. Oscar wanted to do nothing but hole himself up somewhere far far away from people. Each casual tap. Each brush of the shoulder. Oscar couldn't  _ take it _ .

"I know nothing has changed, but I can tell you're trying your best," Ironwood said, walking forward before clasping his hand on Oscar's shoulder.

Oscar immediately shuttered and pulled away from the firm grip, pulling his arms close.

The General blinked in shock. "Oscar?"

Oscar took a deep gulp of air, "Oh! Sorry sorry- people touching me has just been... bugging me lately. It's not you!"

"Oh," Ironwood tucked his hand behind his back, "Sorry."

Oscar sighed, "It's fine."

Ironwood's eyebrows raised, "Is it bothering you that much? You seem a bit stressed."

"Oh, it's just been- annoying," Oscar wrung his hands, "Like I know this isn't  _ my _ issue. They've been popping out of nowhere for a while, but usually, after I separate the feelings into what's mine and what's not they don't bug me as much but this one is  _ persistent _ ." He buried his face in his hands, "It's been like four days."

"Sorry, what are you talking about?" Ironwood frowned, "You think it's from... Oz?"

"I'm sure of it!" Oscar insisted, "I get these-  _ really incessant  _ fears about things. Sometimes I see some memories when they get really bad. The only one to last after I untangle my feeling's from Oz's was  _ fire _ but also the memory of dying being burned alive is  _ pretty _ stuck in my brain."

"Have you had them since Oz disappeared?" Ironwood asked, stroking his beard.

"No, I had them before," Oscar explained, "They've actually gone down since that, I only had one incident but that lasted just the day."

Ironwood looked surprised, "Really, when was this?"

"The day of the lockdown, a week and a half ago," Oscar scuffed the floor with his shoe, "Claustrophobia. The memories I saw were the most vivid thing I've seen of Oz this whole time. Usually, he'd talk to me about it though, try to help, but there was nothing."

Ironwood hummed and nodded, "Curious. Maybe it's something you could try to lean into. If it's the only link you've had to Oz then maybe we should-" His hand moved towards Oscar.

"No!" Oscar yelled, pulling himself back, holding his arms close. His heart pounding. The thought of Ironwood  _ intentionally _ trying to flare up this particular spell of fear made Oscar want to run and hide. Any thought of people touching him more than a second made his head buzz and skin crawl.

Ironwood immediately recoiled. "Okay, I understand. I would... implore you to reconsider- it's the only clue we've had for almost a month."

Oscar shook his head wildly, "No. Absolutely not."

"Just... think about it," Ironwood sighed, "You can go for the day."

Ironwood's disappointed tone made Oscar almost feel guilty. Keyword "Almost". The panic attacks and flashbacks from Oz's memories weren’t a thing Oscar would voluntarily go into for a million years. They made Oscar feel exhausted every time they had happened, Oscar wanted to sleep for a week afterward. Yang had told Oscar that panicking was hard work after the fire incident- Oscar couldn't agree more.

That was the night Nora had tried to hug him. It wasn't even that she had snuck up on him. She had walked into the room with a bright: "We're back!" She exclaimed loudly, in a usual fashion for Nora, her footsteps clomping on the hard floor quickly and before Oscar could react, Nora wrapped her arms around him, holding tightly in what  _ should have been _ a warm and welcoming embrace- Nora gave good hugs but-

Oscar's skin crawled. His breath hitched. He needed  _ out _ .

He wrenched himself away from Nora, trying to keep his breathing steady. Oscar felt embarrassed- ashamed - as Nora looked shocked and hurt.

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry. I'm just- prickly today. Need my space," Oscar tried to cover, taking a tentative step back. Even the  _ proximity  _ felt painful. Oscar wanted to scream- it was like claustrophobia all over again but this time- it was the  _ people _ the  _ touching _ -

"Oh," Nora's disappointed voice felt like a stab to his heart.

Oscar didn't want to tell her that her touches hurt- that her closeness made his skin crawl- he had  _ just _ found how much comfort and affirmation he got from those things before. He  _ liked _ Nora's hugs. He  _ enjoyed _ Ren's gentle pats. He liked having the other's ruffle his hair or lean on his shoulder- he felt  _ included _ and  _ wanted- _ but now it all just  _ hurt. _

Oscar curled up in bed, praying that the next day it would be over- and he could just go back to how it was.

Of course, it wasn't that easy.

Oscar woke up to find Nora already up. Oscar tended to be the first one awake but not the first one up. He had gotten more used to staying in bed.

"It's pretty early, you want to go get breakfast together? We haven't had any good ol' Nora-Oscar quality time lately," Nora suggested with a bright voice.

The thought immediately made Oscar feel sick. He wanted to curl up somewhere alone...  _ still. _

"Uh, I appreciate it, but I uh," Oscar lowered his head, he didn't want to tell Nora the truth- it would hurt for her to hear something like.... that. "I'm a bit... low on energy today. I think I need some space. Maybe another day." Oscar quickly got up and walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He sucked in a deep breath, trying to calm his pounding heart. His eyes grew hot and prickly and Oscar couldn't hold it back. As quietly as he could, Oscar sat on the floor of the bathroom and cried.

* * *

"Have you guys something wrong with Oscar?" Nora asked at breakfast. Oscar had slipped out by himself to get food and didn't return to the room before everyone else had woken up and stopped by to go together.

"He  _ has _ been rather... distant this week," Blake remarked, "Has he been acting weird in your guys' room too?"

Ren stirred his tea, "He seemed rather off-put by Nora's hug last night."

"And he left alone before Ren and I woke up," Jaune added.

Yang scowled, "You think Ironwood has anything to do with it?"

"I don't know," Nora groaned, "I can't read him! He keeps saying he's 'prickly' and 'wants space'."

"I understand that," Blake said bluntly, "I didn't take Oscar for a strong introvert though."

"He left for his on space back in Mistral," Weiss pointed out, "Maybe he's gotten so used to days alone that now that Ironwood's been dragging him in every day he's getting tired?"

"I've never seen him... try to keep away from us though," Jaune murmured.

Ruby rocked in her seat, "I think I patted his back the other day and he flinched, I thought I just surprised him. Not sure if that has to do with anything but-" She shrugged.

"Should we ask Ironwood if he's noticed anything?" Ren suggested.

Blake wilted, "If there are no other options?"

"I can't really think of Ironwood being a prime person to vent to," Yang rolled her eyes, "Why not just  _ talk _ to him?"

"It feels like..." Nora slumped on her arms, "He's trying to avoid the subject. He's been giving these excuses... I keep being worried that he's mad at us."

"Why would he be mad?" Ruby frowned.

Nora groaned, "I dunno! But that's the impression I got!"

"What could you have done to make him upset?" Weiss asked, "Oscar doesn't seem the type to hold grudges."

"He seems the exact opposite of that," Blake agreed.

Jaune patted Nora's back, "We'll keep asking around, if we don't find anything by tonight, we can ask Oscar together."

"Okayyy," Nora moaned.

* * *

Oscar stared at the door to Ironwood's office. He had been called there right away that morning. Oscar fiddled with the hem of his coat before knocking.

The door inched open to see Winter Schnee standing there.

"Oh, Oscar," she said, a bit warmer than her usual tone, "Come in, I was just about to leave. The General has been waiting for you." She stepped out and held the door open for Oscar to walk through before she closed the door behind her. Oscar shuffled in, spotting Ironwood sitting at his desk, tapping through things on a screen. As the door closed, Ironwood dismissed it.

"Oscar, come, sit," He gestured to a chair that was set a couple of feet away from his desk. Oscar shuffled there, sitting down, wringing his hands. "Good morning."

"Good morning," Oscar echoed, feeling a bit too small in the chair and the dim room.

Ironwood picked up his mug of coffee and sipped it, "I was hoping to... talk for a bit."

"Oh, okay," Oscar murmured, trying for a polite smile.

"Would you like anything? Coffee? Tea?  _ Hot Chocolate? _ " Ironwood gave a warm smile.

Oscar chuckled a bit, "Tea, actually, would be nice."

"Now I know I'm not having one pulled over on me," Ironwood grinned, tapping his scroll on his desk a few times.

"Qrow has told me of Ozpin's obsession, but I can't stand that much sugar this early," Oscar smirked.

Ironwood laughed lightly this time, "I'm not sure how he functioned."

"I used to have coffee with my Aunt every morning," Oscar admitted, "I usually get a cup every morning I can, but more than one is... too much."

"Keep that up, or else you'll have to keep getting more and more shots," Ironwood said, getting up, walking to the door, opening it and was handed a small tray with a small pot, a mug and a box, "Black? Herbal? Green?"

"Herbal," Oscar responded as Ironwood got to the desk and opened the box, the General nodded and took out a package and dropped it in the pot.

"You can move up here if you want to," Ironwood suggested.

Oscar hesitated. Closer. He couldn't help but to think of this morning. Nora's disappointed expression. The mixture of loneliness and fear that has been plaguing him for almost a week now.

"Oh, you don't have to, of course," Ironwood said after a moment of silence.

"No," Oscar said, getting up and picking up the chair, carrying it the couple of feet closer and setting it next to the desk. He was within arms reach of Ironwood now. The hair on Oscar's neck tingled, his chest tightened uncomfortably. Oscar fought the feelings down.

Ironwood placed the mug and small tea pot in front of Oscar before going back to his seat. Oscar was very aware that Ironwood kept a good distance as not to accidentally brush Oscar. He appreciated it.

"Have you... taken any thoughts to my idea?" Ironwood said carefully as Oscar fiddled with the tea bag.

Oscar paused. He  _ hated _ feeling this way. On edge around the people he had come to care about like... like  _ family. _ To feel like any touch would burn him. Like they would hurt him. Oscar felt his pulse quicken at the thought.

"A... a bit," Oscar said quietly, opening the cap of the teapot, well aware that it was probably nowhere near done steeping. Was the only way out...  _ through _ ? Oscar had been trying to avoid the memories. They lead to uncertainty. To nightmares. To  _ fear. _ Even though Oscar hadn't felt the strong effects of them again like before- Oscar avoided each one of them. The sight of blood didn't make him want to pass out, but it made him uncomfortable where it never had before. Oscar had always liked keeping things neat, but now cleaning was a true stress relief for him. Oscar had been fine with small spaces before, but in the last week, Oscar had found himself making  _ sure _ exits were unlocked. And fire... Oscar still had dreams of burning. When Oscar was alone in that locked room for an hour, nothing had happened, just a horrifying memory that was like quicksand- the harder Oscar tried to get out, the more it dragged him back in.

Oscar sighed, pulling the tea bag out anyway, pouring the weak tea into the cup, it steamed but was nice for Oscar to cup his hands around. "I think... maybe...." Oscar sipped the tea- it was definitely weak. "We don't have any other clues," Oscar admitted, "And, the others didn't stop until I remembered something. And last time I was trying so hard to get out of the memory that maybe I missed something." Oscar felt sick even saying this. He sipped his tea more. Oscar really wished it was ginger right now.

"Are you sure?" Ironwood raised his eyebrows, "I know I was insistent yesterday, but if it really is too much-"

"No, I'll do it," Oscar said, trying to swallow down the nausesa, "I think the only way out is through, and if I really push myself into the memory, maybe I can get a hold of Oz." He couldn't be afraid now. These memories- these fears- they weren't  _ his.  _ Oscar didn't want them to control him anymore. Oscar didn't want the others to see him like that again- he wasn't a scared little kid. Too much had happened to fall into that. Heck, here he was- hundreds of miles from home. Just a year ago he was an every day farmhand. Now he had the entire world's fate pinned on him. And now he was scared of people  _ touching _ him? No. Oscar couldn't accept it.

Ironwood nodded, "Thank you, Oscar. It's very brave of you." He slowly got up, walked around the desk and knelt down next to Oscar's chair. 

Just this close, Oscar felt his skin begin to crawl. The anticipation was killing him now, Oscar tried to push his legs against the floor to stop them from shaking. Ironwood carefully set his left glove on the table and held out his flesh hand.

Oscar bit his lip but stole himself, grabbing the General's hand.

Immediately Oscar's skin began to pickle. Every part of Oscar's body was screaming for him to get out. Oscar grit his teeth.

"Are you remembering anything?" Ironwood asked softly.

"Just how uncomfortable this is," Oscar chuckled breathlessly, trying to keep his breathing steady. "I'm okay."

Ironwood squeezed Oscar's hand gently, "What usually happens?"

"Everything... gets all staticy?" Oscar explained in a strained voice, "And things... things in front of me change into other things?" Oscar tried to keep himself from shutting his eyes. It was like Oscar's body wanted to shed his skin. His hands twitched. Ironwood held Oscar's hand where it was. Oscar's other hand flew to his hair, grabbing a clump of the dark strands, his fingers hooking around loops of hair.

Ironwood quickly grabbed Oscar's forearm with his other hand. "Oscar, you're going to hurt yourself."

Oscar bit his lip again, forcing his shaking hand to slowly let go of his hair. Ironwood moved his other hand to the side of Oscar's arm, holding down his arm to try to keep the boy from clawing at himself again.

"Anything?" Ironwood prompted.

Oscar shook his head again, it was getting harder to keep his breath from over taking him. "I just- I feel- prickly? Like- like it burns? I don't know-"

Before Oscar could realize what he was doing, Ironwood shifted and then pulled Oscar forward. Oscar fell out of his chair and into Ironwood's arms. He held onto Oscar tightly, one arm around his back and the other cupping his head, effectively keeping Oscar's arms from clawing at himself again. But- it was so much- his entire body was hot and prickling, Oscar couldn't breathe anymore- his deep breaths he had been so careful with felt like they did nothing. Everything itched and Oscar shook, his entire body enclosed.

_ "This is what happens when you continue to do this, my love-" _

A voice, soft, careful, but on a knife's edge. Oscar convulsed, he could feel the _ hands on the sides of his face, running through his hair- _

_ "You were what I would give the world for," the voice continued, a pale face with white hair and eyes as dark as night- a beautiful face- but once that sent his heart pounding in fear because she was the one- she was the one- in all the ways she had killed him- over and over again she still ran her fingers on his cheeks like one would to someone they loved, "but you do nothing but want to see me gone, have you really grown to hate me so much, Ozma?" He wanted to run- to scream, each gentle touch felt like a knife- he could feel the hatred under the tips of her fingers- the fingers that held him by the neck now, that pressed down on his windpipe and he couldn't breathe he couldn't breathe  _ **_he couldn't b r e a t h e-_ **

"Oscar! Oscar please!" the face with eyes full of hatred as he felt his world turn to dark ash melt into another face. A man's face with a thick beard and blue eyes.

Oscar coughed, gasping for air, hand at his neck. It felt sore and raw like someone really had been trying to choke him out. Ironwood grabbed Oscar and carefully put him on his side as he coughed and hacked, continuing to gasp for air. Oscar felt the hot tears running down his face and onto the cold office floor but Oscar didn't mind it, he just pulled his knees up to his chest and let himself sob. Oscar wasn't sure how long he laid on the floor. He did hear Ironwood whispering something at some point that Oscar couldn't make out. The lights were dimmed and Oscar thinks someone covered him with a blanket. They seemed very careful not to touch him.

Oscar finally came out of his stupor at some point. He found a thin blanket on him and the chair he had been sitting on was moved away. Oscar slowly sat up, looking around. He was still up on the incline with the steps, but the two chairs of the room had been moved down. Sitting in the chairs was Ironwood, his arms up on the armrests of the desk chair, holding up his face. Sitting in the other chair, a sour look on his face, was Qrow.

"Qrow?" Oscar croaked, his throat was raw.  _ Well I  _ did  _ get choked out- wait no- _ Oscar shook his head, tossing the memory away.

Qrow glanced up, relief on his face. "Oscar. You're up."

Oscar rubbed his eyes, they also felt raw. "Was I out long?"

"Just over an hour according to James," Qrow said. Ironwood's shoulders slumped further.

Oscar carefully got to his feet, holding the blanket so it fell off his shoulders like a cape. Oscar shuffled over, "I uh- sorry. I didn't... I didn't find anything."

Ironwood sighed. "Oscar, that doesn't matter. You scared the living  _ daylights _ out of me. One second you're shaking and the next you're frozen and sound like you're choking."

"Oh, I was," Oscar said, sitting on the floor next to Qrow, "That was the memory, Salem choked me to death."

"Yeah I wouldn't want anyone touching me ever again either," Qrow said darkly, "James called me, he didn't want to cause a scene. Especially because the kids dote on you."

"I appreciate it," Oscar said, pulling the blanket around him now, "I'd rather this not be a big deal."

"Oscar," Ironwood spoke quietly, "I'm very sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you on this."

Oscar shook his head, "No, it would have happened anyway. It's probably for the best that it wasn't a big... thing."

"You know the kids are perfectly happy to help you," Qrow said quietly, "Jaune and Ruby came up to me right before James gave me a call asking about you."

"They did?" Oscar said, surprised.

Qrow nodded, "Yep, apparently they've noticed you've been off. Nora's especially worried."

"Of course," Oscar puffed his cheeks, "She probably thinks I'm mad at her or something. I've been avoiding her because she's... you know?"

"The most likely to touch you without any warning?" Qrow guessed.

"Yeah that," Oscar said, putting his head in his hands, "It really frustrates me! I've- I've been wanting to spend time with them all week but just- being close to people has been making me so... nervous!"

"Then you need to talk to them," Qrow said stiffly.

"But I don't want them worrying! You know how they get!" Oscar objected, "They've been- taking care of me with this for months now! I don't need them to baby me!"

Qrow chuckled, "Oscar, I hate to break it to you, but you are kinda a baby."

Ironwood rolled his eyes. "Qrow, you aren't being helpful."

"I'm being honest," Qrow objected before turning to Oscar, "You look really beat, kid. You want me to bring you some lunch here? So you don't have to go out for a bit?"

Oscar hesitated but nodded.

Qrow got up and stretched, "I'll be back, and don't do anything stupid like that again."

Oscar tried for a smile.

* * *

  
  


Nora didn't see Oscar all day after that morning and she was getting worried. No one had seen any hide or hair of him all day.

"Have you seen Oscar?" Nora asked, running up to Neon in the hall.

Neon blinked, "Uh- no. What, did you lose him?"

"No!" Nora said quickly, "He left early this morning and it's almost four and no one has seen him! He won't answer his scroll either."

Neon hummed, "Library?"

"Checked," Nora sighed. Blake had looked there first and Nora had  _ just _ double-checked.

"Training rooms?"

"Looked," Nora groaned, everyone had looked in all of them.

Neon's eyes widened, "Wait! Isn't he in Witness Protection or something? What if the people who’re after him have him!"

Nora groaned again, "I'm starting to think it's a  _ possibility _ but I think that would have caused a bigger scene."

"We can't rule anything  _ out! _ " Neon exclaimed, eyes wide and her tail was flicking wildly. She took out her scroll, "I'll tell the boys to keep a lookout, maybe ask the General if there were any security breaches?"

"Wouldn't we be on lockdown if there were?" Nora asked in a dull voice.

"Trust No One," Neon said, waving her hands, "I'll go look around."

And then she was off.

Nora groaned once more. Ironwood was the  _ last _ person she wanted to go to, even though it was the most likely place. She  _ didn't _ want to ask the General. But Nora was running out of options.

Nora stormed her way through the halls, making her way briskly before she found herself before Ironwood's office. She sighed and knocked on the door.

There was a pause before  _ Ironwood _ opened the door.

He looked down at Nora, not looking surprised. "Oh, Miss Valkyrie," He said, "What brings you here?"

Nora sighed, "Where's Oscar?"

Ironwood smirked and Nora wanted to punch him. She had the wherewithal to hold herself back.

"He's in here, I had mentioned not long ago that  _ someone  _ was going to come looking for him." Ironwood opened the door wider.

Nora could see Oscar sitting in the room. A table was in the middle of the room now with two chairs on either side. In the middle of the table was a board out with checkers pieces set on it. Oscar was on one side, a thin blanket hanging off his shoulders and a large mug just to the side of him.

"You've been here playing  _ Checkers? _ " Nora gasped.

Oscar blushed, "Not the  _ entire _ time."

Nora scowled, "We were looking all over the place for you! Why didn't you answer your scroll?"

"I wanted space?" Oscar said in a very unconvincing tone.

Nora sighed.

"Oscar, maybe you should head out," Ironwood suggested, "If you... would  _ like _ to."

Oscar hesitated but nodded, standing up and quickly folding the blanket on his shoulders and walked towards the door. With a pause, Oscar held out his hand to Ironwood who frowned for a second before also holding out his hand. Oscar closed the gap and shook Ironwood's hand before stepping out of the door.

"Please  _ do _ take care," Ironwood said, a weary tone in his voice.

Oscar nodded, "I will."

Nora started down the hallway, Oscar keeping pace about a foot to her side.

"If you weren't playing Checkers all day, what  _ were _ you doing? You were there for hours," Nora looked at Oscar with a concerned expression.

Oscar ducked his head, "It uh- I had another memory. Ironwood was just trying to... calm me down."

"What- really?" Nora looked at Oscar with wide eyes, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it was this morning, I'm feeling better now."

"Do you... want to talk about it?" Nora asked as carefully as she could.

Oscar shook his head, "Not right now. I'm sorry if.... if I was distant this week. Things were bothering me. I was trying to avoid seeing it."

Nora instantly felt worried and relieved.

"What was it this time then?" Nora asked, "The thing that bothered you?"

"Touch." Oscar admitted, "So, I'm sorry. About last night."

Nora frowned. "Wait then- how did you get the memory this morning?"

Oscar ducked his head further, "I kinda uh- forced it this time."

Nora blanched, "What?"

"I hated having it control me! And Ironwood thought that- maybe I could contact Oz?" Oscar's shoulders slumped, "It doesn't matter, it didn't work anyway."

Nora's expression softened as they closed in on their room.

"You know, if you don't want us touching you, you can just say so," Nora said, stopping at the door.

Oscar looked up at Nora, his eyes looked a little... sad. "I know," he said quietly, "but- I did like it. You guys... are all touchy people. I felt... included. I didn't want to admit that I didn't want that."

"Oscar," Nora sighed, "You're  _ always _ included. It doesn't matter if you want my hugs or not."

"But- I like your hugs," Oscar said, puffing out his cheeks.

Nora smiled, "Are you up for one right now?"

Oscar paused, he thought about it.

"Maybe just one?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAnd we're done! Thank you so much for sticking with me through this whole thing! This turned out to be the longest single project I've worked on in a matter of only a week and I'm very happy with how it turned out and how quickly I did so!
> 
> Big thank you to some other amazing Fic writers who gave me ideas and encouraged me along the way:  
> Tikii  
> Kineticallyanywhere  
>  GeraldTheFabulousGiraffe  
> ...and everyone else on the Oscar Pine Protection Squad discord for all of their love <3


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